People yearn for connection

In 2023 I started a tech event in the North of England called Silicon Mingle. It’s grown every month since. When a regular attendee told me they were moving cities and would miss it, I told them to take the brand and start their own chapter. Six months later their community was as big as the original. This is not a new pattern for me.

When my wife and I moved to South Korea we couldn’t find an active arts community. We found a defunct one instead. We tracked down the original creator, got their blessing, and brought it back to life. It thrived. New artists, new exhibitions, a real scene. You can read about it in The Korea Times.

Back in London I found a tech meetup called Silicon Drinkabout that did exactly what a good community should. I attended for years, eventually connected with the organisers, and started a Surrey branch. They had chapters across Europe by then.

Both communities eventually wound down naturally. When I moved North after the pandemic I couldn’t find anything similar, so I did what I always do. I contacted the current owner of the Silicon Drinkabout brand, got their blessing, and started again under a new name with a clear nod to the past. Silicon Mingle was born.

You rarely need to start from scratch. Someone has usually already done the hard part.

Throwing people in a room and hoping for the best is not a strategy. The communities I’ve seen thrive all have the same bones: a clear identity people can rally around, a genuine reason to gather, a shared sense of purpose, and someone willing to set the tone and keep the energy alive.

That last one matters more than people admit. Communities need a host. Not a manager, not a brand, a person. Someone who shows up, remembers names, and makes people feel like they belong there.

Most communities fail because they’re built around sales pitches and transactional relationships. Nobody wants that. What people actually want is a place to be seen, to connect with others who get it, and to feel part of something that exists for its own sake.

You can only truly know yourself in contrast to others. Community is how that happens.

Find a defunct community that once meant something. Contact whoever started it. Ask for their blessing, learn what worked, and pick up where they left off. The groundwork is already there. You just need to show up.

If you can’t find one worth reviving, start something small and real. It doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to exist.

You will bring people together. Some of them will become your closest friends. A few of them will change your life.

That’s worth the effort.