Learn to Love the Things You Can’t Avoid

In my university days in London, I shared a flat with a proper English butler. Or, as he preferred to be called, a “Gentleman’s Gentleman.” He took care of everything from managing the household to ensuring that his employer’s life ran as smoothly as possible. At the time, I couldn’t fathom why anyone would choose such a job.

It wasn’t until I found myself among the uber-wealthy that I truly understood the role my flatmate played in the lives of his employers.

A Glimpse into the Lives of the Uber Wealthy

In 2011 my startup cofounder and I were invited to 10 Downing Street along with a handful of entrepreneurs by Prime Minister David Cameron’s advisor, Jonathan Luff, to tour the iconic building and explore its inner chambers.

Like a school of fish, our group of 8 young wide-eyed entrepreneurs were led, room after room, buffeted by a tail-coated Gentleman at the front, and kept from wandering astray by one at the back.

The “Love Actually” staircase, Margret Thatcher’s private drawing room, the basement room where the PM meets other heads of state. A sword was pointed out to us that must never touch British soil lest there be an international incident.

Maids and butlers everywhere, though they blended so innocuously into the decor you could easily forget they were there.

The Illusion of Time

You’d think with an army of staff, you’d conquer the world. More time, more deals. But what if this uninterrupted time is actually a mirage? What if it makes you lose touch with the real world? As Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi puts it in Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience,

“Control of consciousness determines the quality of life.”

The illusion of having more time can be seductive. It can make you feel invincible, as if you can take on any challenge and come out victorious. But the reality is, time is a finite resource, and no amount of hired help can change that. The uber-wealthy may delegate tasks to free up their schedules, but are they truly making the most of this newfound time? Are they using it to grow, to learn, to connect with others on a meaningful level? Or are they simply filling it with more business deals, more leisure activities that offer only temporary satisfaction?

The Reality Cheque: Entrepreneurs vs. The Uber Wealthy

The Uber Wealthy’s circumstances are so wildly different from that of normal entrepreneurs that they might as well be another species; the Homo Affluentis. Yet, we’re Homo Sapiens. We make beds. We change diapers.

“To overcome the anxieties and depressions of contemporary life, individuals must become independent of the social environment to the degree that they no longer respond exclusively in terms of its rewards and punishments. To achieve such autonomy, a person has to learn to provide rewards to herself. She has to develop the ability to find enjoyment and purpose regardless of external circumstances.”

I learned to negotiate while haggling at flea markets. I honed my timing skills cooking pasta al dente. I’ve closed deals while waiting for my laundry. I’ve had epiphanies while grocery shopping.

The Zen of the Mundane

Menial tasks are not just chores; they are a form of meditation that brings clarity and peace. Like a monk taking serene pleasure in slowly raking a sand garden, I find clarity in sorting recyclables.

Most enjoyable activities are not natural; they demand an effort that initially one is reluctant to make. But once the interaction starts to provide feedback to the person’s skills, it usually begins to be intrinsically rewarding.

Be your own butler. You might not get as much done, but the wisdom and clarity gained from menial tasks will lead to better, more aligned outcomes.

So, the next time you find yourself dreading household chores, remember: they are life’s tutorials.

📚 Read Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

🛠️ Set recurring weekly tasks in Asana to free your mind