The 3-Part Self

Staying consistent in today’s world? It’s like keeping your phone charged 24/7—impossible without the occasional reboot. Everywhere you look, internet gurus are hammering on about taking small steps for big success. They’re not wrong…but if I hear “just do it” one more time, I might just not. It feels a bit like being served the same reheated motivational soup every morning.

Let’s be real, between juggling work, health, friends, workouts, kids, and caring for our aging parents, it’s way too easy to hit burnout. We’re out here trying to lift boulders, only to feel like we’re being crushed by them instead.

For entrepreneurs and consultants, the weight feels even heavier. You’re hardwired to put everyone else, especially clients, first.

But remember— you can’t pour from an empty cup.

The way you view yourself plays a crucial role in how you manage everything—or don’t.

My strategy? I put myself first. Sounds selfish? It isn’t. It’s like the airplane rule—oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. If you’re knocked out, you’re no help to anyone.

Selfhood’s a lifelong journey, for sure. But let’s break it down to a simple framework that’s kept me grounded for over a decade.

Picture yourself as a complex, multi-part sculpture.

These parts are constantly being shaped and reshaped by new experiences, new thoughts, and new people—shaping how you see your achievements.

Lose track, and your inner world becomes as tangled as a pair of earphones left in your pocket.

You can let the world shape you, or you can take charge of shaping yourself.

Imagine you’re this intricate creature traveling through time. Let’s explore a system that helps you steer your actions, shed guilt over past mistakes, and ease future anxieties.

The Three-Part Self

Inside us, we’re like a bustling city (and hey, if you’re curious about the biology of our inner ecosystems, Ed Yong’s I Contain Multitudes is a fantastic read on gut health). Mentally, it’s no different. There’s a lot happening upstairs.

But let’s simplify it:

• Past You: The foundation. They had their highs and lows. Learn from them, but don’t dwell. Forgive their slip-ups, celebrate their victories, and cut them some slack.
• Present You: The CEO of today. Each decision you make paves the way for Tomorrow You and Future You. Being deliberate with your actions lays the bricks for what’s next.
• Future You: The dream. They’re relying on Today You to establish the right habits and smart moves.

Forming a Relationship with These Selves

Saying you’re three-in-one sounds fancy. But it’s meaningless unless you act on it. Here’s where the real work begins (yes, sorry—another to-do. But trust me, it’ll be worth it).

Take ten minutes a week to hang out with your Past and Future Selves through active imagination (think meditation but with a twist—you’re engaging with your visual mind, not clearing it). If you’re part of the 2% of humanity that can’t visualize due to aphantasia, I’m curious—how do you explore your inner world?

I do this in a hot bath, but find your own cozy spot. Sit up, lie down. Doesn’t matter.

Close your eyes, visualize a calming place. A room, a field, whatever feels peaceful.

Think back to you 20 years ago, or even 5. Picture them—what they wore, where they were. What scared them? What were their hopes? Have them sit next to you. Hold their hand.

You’re their Future You. Weird, right?

Give them some encouragement, share the highs and lows.

Now, bring in your Future Self. Imagine them 20 years from now. Their face, their hair—what color is it?

They join you. Make a bridge from Past You to Future You.

Have a chat with them. Maybe share a laugh. Keep it light. Take your time.

When you’re ready, say goodbye and thanks for the meetup.

Snap back to now, armed with the knowledge that every little thing you do links these versions of you, keeping the momentum going.

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

So, what does all this have to do with consistency? It’s about creating distance from…yourself. Just like it’s easier to advise others than to follow your own advice, if you’re too close to your problems, you’ll never see a way out.

Separate the pressure of your potential future from your current tasks. This allows you to set yourself up just like you would for a client.

Future You as a Client

In your task manager and files, start a new project/folder under your name. Add all the subfolders and tasks you would for any other top-tier client. Spend time crafting project briefs, major tasks, subtasks. This isn’t just any client; this is a high-value client you adore working with, so give them that level of dedication.

With practice, the tasks you’ve been dodging due to self-doubt will start to fade away. They’re just necessary steps now. And remember, the real reward is in the doing.

Present You’s got the power; Future You’s got the promise.

Set them up right.