Don’t fear money

Money terrified me for years.

When I first started working, I was on a £19k salary, barely scraping by after rent, and saving maybe £150 a month if I was lucky. Spending was my escape. A way to feel something that resembled control. But every time I actually thought about my finances, my chest tightened. Any attempt to face the numbers left me so overwhelmed I’d get angry and push the whole thing aside.

I know I’m not alone in this.

Nobody teaches us how to manage money. Nobody makes it feel approachable. And capitalism is perfectly happy keeping it that way. Debt is profitable. Financial anxiety keeps people compliant. The idea that money management is a skill only certain people have is not an accident.

But if you want to build something, you have to make peace with money. Not master it. Just stop being afraid of it.

Money is a currency. It flows in and out. You spend to support others and receive in return. That flow, managed well, is what lets you invest in yourself. Software, courses, books, time. These things cost money. There is no version of building a business where that is not true.

The first step is the one nobody wants to take. You have to look at the actual numbers. Not the numbers you think are there. The real ones.

For years, money was the number one source of disagreement between my wife and me. One of us always had to drag the other into dealing with bill payments and savings. It was not fun. What changed it was making the process as frictionless as possible. We put a limited amount onto a Monzo prepaid account, which automatically categorises every purchase. At the start of each month we can see exactly where the money went. No excavation required.

But auto-tracking only works if you actually look at it. So I set a recurring task at the start of every month to sit down with a simple spreadsheet, update my income, expenses and savings, and see where things stand. If you have a partner, do this together. Your finances are a shared project.

The first couple of months feel like a chore. Stick with it. Around month three it stops feeling like a punishment and starts feeling like clarity. You start making decisions from a position of knowledge rather than panic. That shift changes everything.

To make it easier to start, I’m giving you the personal finance tracker I’ve used for years. Fill it in once a month, right after payday. It will show you exactly how much more you need to be making, which is the most honest starting point for anyone thinking about building an income online.